Who can spell ADD?

Oh blog i've missed you...the place to vent and not feel bad about it or have anyone feel the burn to stand and listen to all this crap. Okay so today me and the Hubs decided we'll spend some time doing things around the house. So that means the kids would be on ignore for a bit, needs will be met no doubt. Here's what I found out, They HAVE too many NEEDS. UGH! I swear about every 15 minutes there was something extremely important that had to be tended to. Talk about putting up a single gosh darn nail. First they were fed, then one wanted something to play with and the other wanted to play the same, fight fight fight!!! so after creating diversions of sorts I tried to go back and help the Hubs....half a tilted mirror later, MOM! I wanna paint! okay okay so the whole old t-shirt, brushes, papers, paints mambo jumbo comes out and laid on the table. Picaso goes at it for 10 minutes, little one pulls the paper from below and knocks down a bottle of paint and Voila! CLean up on Aile 5! After half an hour of clean up the older one wants to play with play dough and it's the little ones nap time. Bucket of playdough and a bottle of milk later I get the chance to see whats going on around the house. This time I get an hour. Time for lunch, so there goes another 2 hours. In the meantime the baby wakes up and needs food, minus another hour. So as usual the hubby is doing 90% of the work all by himself even though i'm right there in the house. The kids then start coming in the part of house where we were working so I had to stop and go play with them and get them out of the tools and nails. It never ends!!!!!! Time for dinner and another round of crayons, playdough, cartoons and food. And I look like more of a mess than my significant other even though technically speaking he did all the heavy lifting that day.

How old am I?

Okay so lets see....trust me when I say, this was not THAT long ago...what I remember from my childhood is playing hide-and-go-seek, tag, patti-cake(i'm a girl, its allowed), video games: hand-held was a 2 inch black and white screen with a single built-in game and computer interfacing games were on a system called 'Attari' I swear i'm not making it up...the games used to take 20 minutes to load and it had this cassette player you had to insert a cassette in for each individual game. Other than that VCR's were used not DVD players....cd's and dvd's came in the picture right infront of me. Then came the internet and E-mails...how cool was that. Took about an hour for dial-up to connect and 15 minutes to send the mail after hitting the 'SEND' button. What's next..oh yeah the invention of Wi-Fi, laptops and the whole Shabbang!!!..no wires no nothing...WHAO!! Oh yeah TV's that hang on the wall...I remember people going and looking at their back sides with disbelief comparing them to the gigantic giants that weighed about a ton Atleast that they had at home (still talking about televisions people...keep your heads in the right context). I mean as i'm writing this it's starting to get more absurd and I think i'm getting a few grey hairs in the process. One of my aunt sometimes says to me, you guys were born in the refrigeration era...and I always used to think big deal...I mean wasn't it the Ice-Age when they didn't have these things in existence ppsshhh. But now I think when my kids grow up i'll be saying to them...you know what when I was young you couldn't rewind Live TV you know...and they'll be like, 'Mom that was like when Dinosaurs roamed the Earth'. God how fast is the world moving. Okay here's another one, who remembers watching 'The Jetsons' and thinking that those Video Phones were the coolest things from the future and like that could ever happen, SKYPE anyone???? aaaaaaaaahhhh I feel about 150 years old right now. This is becoming ridiculous I think I should stop writing...... 

Allergies Shamallergies

Well guess who's mocking who now? The allergies won this season. I swear I used to think it's a made up disease, people popping allergy meds seemed addicts to me, guess who got a kick in the butt!! Well now I can say that I am officially a citizen of the West. You don't become totally American till you get to say 'These Allergies are killing me this season'. The only thing that tingles my taste buds these days are 'Sour Patch Kids' yummm who thinks they are totally awesome!!! me me me. The stuffy nose and headaches are so bad, I think i'm up to 4 cups of tea (yes yes no coffee yet, I love my tea, can't give it up for the West just yet) now. You know that commercial where they show you this guy sneezing outside under the tree and the song in the background 'It's A Lovely Day' but the guy is having a horrible time. That's exactly how I felt at the park the other day. I had never ever even payed attention to that commercial but now it's ringing in my head. Ah, pollen pollen go away come back some other day. The End.

Who taught her?

Okay seriously who told my 10 month old that emptying out a drawer full of clothes is an awesomely cool thing to do.

And apparently HilArioUS. This little rascal was giggling through the whole drawer busting episode. I mean come on who tells these kids that this is fun, and she knew she was doing something sneaky because she kept on looking at me with this cheeky smile. She even reached for the second drawer but when I  said "No" she started crying, giving me tears and all. Making me feel guilty for a mess she made, genius. This kid is gonna rule the world.

Have my cake and eat it too!

So me and Miss A. made a cake for no apparent reason. She had found this no.3 candle in the drawer from her birthday a few months ago and kept bugging me to get her a cake. So I thought i'd get some cake mix and frosting and have at another attempt of mother-daughter bonding time in the kitchen. We did actually manage to make it with probably half a roll of paper towel to spare, which is pretty awesome. But here's the thing, guess who played and guess who ATE!!! aaaaaaahhh the poor girl only wanted to light the candle and blow on it ...probably lick a little bit of the icing like she does off cupcakes but not eat it. I ended up with a scrumptious Hershey chocolate laden fluffy yummy mountain of cake. Ah what to do, dilemma, dilemma, so I did what had to be done....yum yum yum. Apparently I have put my dieting back a few months and as of right now I am in the middle of a severe sugar crash...someone help me!!!  Anyone out there who can take this thing and run coz I might try to come after. This plan totally back-fired in a way I did not anticipate. I am just so sleepy right now, not funny. Cake anyone?

Bribery

I recently realized, when kids get out of diapers, the diaper budget is replaced by the 'bribery budget'. My shopping trips have become a tug of war of mommy gets 20 minutes if toddler gets 2 bucks of stuff. So i'm paying this kid by the hour to do "my" work. Who's the boss here? So before this kids starts generating an income from me I have to come up with an evil mom plan or something. God I tell you these kids are the most manipulative beings you will ever deal with in your life. It's just too easy to fall for them, so cute, so innocent, NOT! I think they should make Dollar Stores next to grocery stores, I swear they'll do more business. The balloon lady at the grocery store now knows us and the only question she asks and not me, my toddler is, what color would you like? She knows what color string, how long it should be, everything. The thing is though that it works. Rather than dealing with the drama of crying and wailing and tantrums every 32 seconds it's good to have an incentive for them to behave, something to look forward to. This lady has moped pretty much the floors of Giants, Target and Walmart with her tantrum episodes but since bribing has come in to play I get hardly any of that. It goes like 'Do you want to sit on the floor or eat popsicles?' guess which one she'd go for. So for a $1.89 I can have a decent shopping trip without too many hiccups and leave without making 15 people swear they won't ever have children. Mom's know its a freaking deal. The only flaw in this oh-so-perfect plan is that bribe money is proportional to the age of the child. Even now my 3 year old would ask to get atleast 4 things out of which i'll agree on on. Every few feet she picks up something and says 'mommy go home now?'. All she knows is that we are there to buy her crap. So now for every trip i've decided that two bucks is the limit. Let's see how long thats going to work. Things kids make us do,tsk tsk.

Supermoms....

I hate you. No kidding make us regular kind feel bad. So bad. Ah! the guilt. I woke up around 7:45am (well technically never slept much in the night..little one has been fussy for the last three days..teeth, weather...who knows), rolled out of bed, tumbled downstairs to get both the kids their morning milk, flopped back in bed for just 10 more minutes, blissful 10 minutes. Got back up and opened the blinds with half my eyes open and an oncoming headache just to see my neighbor who has four kids under the age of 5, all of them dressed up, hair done, fed, playing outside in their driveway. I stood there for a while thinking what time did she wake up, what did she give them for breakfast, when did they take baths, so many questions. I don't know man it's usually 9:30 or 10 that my morning routine is done to a T. Anyways after looking at that I think it inspired me enough to take the kids out to the park all fed and dressed by 9:45am and force some supermom pride in me. Tomorrow I might not pull up the blinds of my bedroom window...lamp light gives a much more guilt-less glow.